Bacon Enthusiast Gifts

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

'We don't know what it is, but once we add bacon, the public will love it.'

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

If you really want men to floss.

"We're trying a new incentive program. Bacon?"

"So that's how they make smokey bacon."

'And this is when we started printing 'Now With Bacon' on the boxes.'

Pork Stock Exchange

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

Eat Bacon. Loose weight.

"Next time you want me to swallow a camera, just wrap it in bacon!"

Where 'Canadian Bacon' comes from.

"I'm not overweight. I'm just saving my bacon."

"How are ya, Jimmy Sir?"

". . . and then, Iceberg goes, 'you know a LOT of people really like just a lettuce and tomato sandwich!', I literally spit out my drink!"

"Remember me, Mister 'too much bacon is never enough?'"

'The problem isn't that I love you. The problem is that I also love bacon.'

'It happens every time I eat bacon - I immediately develop this large rasher on my chest, doc.'

"He was 95. The doctors reckon it was either the bacon, the beer, the whiskey, the smoking, the wine, the steaks, the coffee, the butter, the biscuits or just too much sunshine that finally did him in."

"Genetic engineering has made us disease resistant."

"After we eat this wonderful meal, I heard the farmer say he was going to take us to the market!"

"We're raising them for turkey bacon."

"If you ask me hog futures don't look very promising."

"If medical science wants to be really relevant, it would find a way to let me eat all the bacon I want!"

"Put a piece of bacon on it. Bacon makes everything better."

'Of course you can pull out of the act but I'll need a month's notice in writing.'

"I love that all the veggies are made from textured farm bacon."

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

"The good news is, you're not pregnant. . . but you really need to do something about that pork belly."

"Over here's where we make the smoked ham"

"Push, push, push! There's always one that wants to be the first in line!"

Another Rookie Mistake

"Buy Silver! Buy gold! Buy bacon! Buy ham! Buy Beef!"

"So this bacon in my ear - d'you think it can be cured..?"

Philosophical Bacon