Backyard Gladiators Gifts

Prize vegetables.

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

Neighbor Leaf Wars

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

'Daniel! How many times have I told you not to bury that in the back yard! I'm going to be late for work!'

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

I'm Spartacus.

Biker Lawn Mower

"It may have been just a kick-about in the garden, but Eric took things very seriously."

"Don't get me wrong. I think it's great that Barbara decided she wanted to start exercising more after her surgery."

"I warned you before you bought it, John, that the plant is aggressive!"

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

"In two weeks' time, Andy Murray will either have achieved a great British win or an awful Scottish defeat."

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

"Prepare to meet thy blower."

Human males marking territory.

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

"There's got to be an easier way to kill the moss in a lawn"

"It's a victory garden. And the weeds have won."

"You, my tenacious weed, are trespassing!"

'I'm just your average suburban gladiator mum.'

'For heaven's sake, Armitage... Can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category??'

'Uh-oh ... Manning got hit hard, and he's not getting up.'

"If he'd done that to me, I'd have got up and given him a good thump!"

"I don't know where his dip in form came from."

"Better - but it was still too obvious when you went for the pine tar under your hat."

Welcome,dear, to the Garden of Weedin.

'I can't cut the grass until I find the lawnmower and I can't find the lawnmower until I cut the grass!'

'Better put this on. . . health and safety.'

"Let's see...how would Arnie handle this?"

'Ken's back was bent at a rakish angle'

Going Shopping Together.