Backyard Botanists Pillows

'I was hoping it was going to be bigger, but I'm still new to gardening.'

"Is this one a flower or a weed? I'm not sure whether to admire it or not."

A cow as a lawnmower.

'My mom grows vegetables as a hobby. Takes a lot of perverse pleasure in it.'

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

"My child when you look at a flower,you see the face of god!"

Jeff realised it was probably time to discontinue his subscription to 'Office Plant of the Month'.

Couple using thier new garden hose in the rain

"I can tell it's new because it's alive."

"Mother! How? Wait — where’s Dad?!"

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

SPOONING CACTI

"At first I was concerned about the Earth opening up. But I was going to build a fire pit, so it actually saved me a lot of time."

Ecological Therapy

'Turn right at the Robinia pseudoacacia, pass the garden with the salvia officinalis, cross the road when you see the stranvaesia davidinia and the pub is on the left!'

'I don't think we can justify employing a gardener.'

"How?"

"Wouldn't this one look nice shrivelled up in the kitchen?"

'Hey, look�The carnival must be in town'

Quick, Gardener's World is on!

"Harry, you're beginning to go to seed!"

Human males marking territory.

"We're out of bags."

"He burns the first one as a sacrifice to the barbecue gods."

"I might let the window box lay fallow, this season."

'Do you have garden pests?'

'I'm sorry my little Towser misbehaved himself.'

Boy: 'DAD, the lawnmower's started SMOKING again!'

"You, my tenacious weed, are trespassing!"

"I used to be a tulip in a previous life" - Reincarnation

'Oh, yeah? Wanna bet my Dad has more passwords than your Dad?'

'Here, you can have my fly trap.I already have one.'

"911?... Guinness Book of World Records?... 911?

Dog sees venus fly trap catch a fly and copies it...