Amateur Botanist Pillows

Watering Weeds.

"I plant the kale back there to keep hipsters out of the good stuff!"

'Too bad loosing your ball, but I've found a rare Trifolium Occidentale.'

'I'm sorry my little Towser misbehaved himself.'

"As a friend, I think I should tell you...the Maples are talking about you behind your bark."

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

'Don finally figured out a way to keep the squirrels from getting at the bird feeder.'

'What great fall blooms. These flowers make yummy pumpkin pie spice!'

Jeff realised it was probably time to discontinue his subscription to 'Office Plant of the Month'.

"My child when you look at a flower,you see the face of god!"

"I can tell it's new because it's alive."

For the last time, Bobby, I told you – every other person gets the red cup with the placebo. Lemonade 50¢.

"What are you in for?"

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

"Mother! How? Wait — where’s Dad?!"

"You've been in long enough! Two more dives then out!"

"Remember that half-dead sansevieria you put out on the balcony back in January of 1994, pal?"

'Turn right at the Robinia pseudoacacia, pass the garden with the salvia officinalis, cross the road when you see the stranvaesia davidinia and the pub is on the left!'

'Oh yes I talk to them all the time. Except the aspidistra. Not since the argument.'

"I have my green thumb, thanks to my black 'n' blue knees!"

Quick, Gardener's World is on!

You have the flu. Get plenty of rest and avoid lots of fluids.

'Be sure to ask George about his tomatoes.'

'I SAID you'd threatened to throw them out once too often!'

Bird plucking a cello

"Nice replica of the garden of Eden Joey!"

"Harry, you're beginning to go to seed!"

"Have you got any man eating plants?"

"We're out of bags."

"No, first you have to evolve into a man, then you can have a man-cave."

Turtle crashes, deploys airbag.

A windfall pear falling straight into a bag of windfall pears.