Backseat Critic Pillows

Back seat race car drivers.

Learner Drivers

'No, don't tell me, your electric garage door is broken.'

'She's not very good. She only did three revolutions and her air wasn't all that much.'

'Which channel would you like to tut at tonight?'

Caveman sees comment section below cave drawings,

"We're at the Grand Marina Hotel in Barcelona. Some sheepdog you turned out to be."

"C'mon, Hillary – just answer the question!"

'Helen! I'm all settled in and I don't want to get up. Would you get the remote for me?'

'Daddy-if we didn't have Mummy how would you know how to drive?'

"Of course it's depressing. It's supposed to be depressing. It's a tragedy."

'...And our extended forecast calls for one #!@*!! thing after another.'

"Unclean demon, in the name of the saint I command you to leave the spirit of this man and to take from him his unholy desire to drive an SUV!"

"I won't go near one of those driver-less things until they iron out the bugs."

"I could stick that landing."

"Since he retired, he fills his days complaining about 'woke' television."

"A four-year, $60 million contract and he can't even do a decent end-zone dance!"

"The following program contains adult situations designed to make you feel bad about your life."

"Do you want to watch the, 'everything's terrible' cable news or the, 'everything's wonderful' cable news?"

He gets mad at us when we bark at the mailman. Then he barks for hours at those tiny people in the box!

"Because I'm the king and I like it better than the old one, that's why."

Aflac Fan and Matlock Fan Argue

'400 channels and the only thing good on TV is my drink.'

Sports futility vehicles

Taxi fares.

'That tut, tut sound when you park..? It's your husband.'

"Honey, quick! Look at this — CNN is showing actual news!"

"Gulf of America is about right."

'We'd like to take it for a test drive.'

Armchair Predator (cat watches Discovery Channel)

Reality television programme - showing infinite regression

"It's better being out of power. Then your base loves you for doing nothing."

So much to be cross about, so little time.

"My last dog always too a right there."

"Engineers have actually found a way to fuel this car with the dignity you lose as you're driving it."