Background Curators T-Shirts

"You notice all the books behind me...one of these days I'll get around to read one."

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

TV-Man

Misunderstood artist

Well, you know these child prodigies - they can be very demanding about how their work is displayed.

The Kitchen area of a Whitechapel Boarding House

'I imagine you'll be asking for a full refund.'

Convenience.

The Rise of Modern Art

Frederic Auguste Bartholdi

Three street vendors sit side by side selling their art; two of the vendors are selling normal paintings while the third is a Neanderthal selling cave paintings.

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

Curators at the Louvre Museum would regret approving the installation of a work on a wall behind the Mona Lisa.

"I take it this is your first interview since the start of lockdown?"

"Typical venue, just providing male washroom facilities!"

"Sorry? I wasn't listening."

"Still-Life of New Mexican Grilled Quail with Cilantro and Fennel-Flecked Confit."

"It's Chicken Mole!"

Leaves falling out of a painting.

"When it's that old, you don't need to add 'A.D.' or 'B.C.'"

Redecorating Easter Island.

"Don't you find her work just so wonderfully liberating!"

'Thank goodness next week we'll be in a new dynasty and we can make some other style of pottery.'

Closed for Renovation

The Exhibition at the Royal Academy

Friends of the Royal Academy - Annual Dinner

"He painted 300 pictures in his lifetime. 1000 of which are in England."

"Hmmm...I wonder what the artist is trying to say...?"

Modern Portrait Gallery

The hall of bad ideas.