Bachelor Pad Captain T-Shirts

'One moment, and I'll connect you with a service technician.'

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

'Sorry about this, but I really need a rug for my bachelor pad.'

Living comfortably with electric appliances.

'You have to lose weight. Stop having intimate dinners for two, when you are not expecting anyone to join you.'

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

'Have you ever imagined a world without stupid hypothetical questions?'

'Let's see what's on the war channel...'

Amoeba mitosis Divorce

'I'm coping.'

'Just did a couple of laps around the pool.'

'Stand back.'

'Great. Now I'm going to have cat breath.'

"I'd love to, but I have a million lonely ritualistic things I need to do."

'Just so long as it doesn't lead to Math tests in church.'

Virtual reality mirror.

'crackle snap crackle pop.'

'My owner is a bachelor. May I have a human bag?'

'Uh, i'll pass.'

'Sure. That's why I wear open-toed sandals.'

'Your giant zit keeps staring at me!!'

'No. We're having too much fun playing in the box.'

"That's it?"

'I bought my dream home, it's a bachelor suite.'

'It's over there behind the...'

'Create Adam before Eve -- He'll need some time to clean up around there a little first.'

'Do you think she'll notice?'

'The carnival has a company car.'

'Hey, what happens in vegans,stays in vegans.'