Babyproofing Aficionado Pillows

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

A young Don King

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

Gifts for a cloned baby!

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Sitting Up'

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

Uterus: One size fits all.

'They made it like that so the kids wouldn't bother you.'

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

'He was getting too heavy to carry around in my pouch.'

Preparing for a new arrival

No bottle feeding.

Baby Carriers

Beware of teething baby.

Mobile.

"You have the right to remain silent, anytime you cry can be used against you...."

'I finally memorized my social security number.'

Eskimo pram

"Excuse me, can you tell me where I might find the colostrum?"

"You've really outdid yourself this time. A real masterpiece!"

No caption (A man wearing a baby in a sling over his chest walks a dog also wearing her pup in a sling).

I wish my baby came with suction cups so there was a place to put him while I shower.

'It's amazing what they let that kid get away with.'

And he thinks I can't hear the TV.

Outside, my mom makes we wear all this if there's a drop of rain. Inside, she's always bugging me to take a bath!

"Shall we go talk with those au pairs?"

"Let me guess -- first child?"

'As his grandfather, I suggest you purchase the one with the side impact guards and heavy duty bumper.'

'Does yours come with a trampoline?'

"Dude, you should wear it on the front. Chicks love that!"

Baby enters Birthmark Removal from Maternity Ward.

'The quality is good but the service is sometimes slow!'

"At first I thought it was cool that my mom kept wanting me to test her phone to see if it was waterproof. Now I know it was just a way to get me to take showers."

Maternity Fashion: Zika Net