Baby's Firsts Enthusiast Pillows

'The baby cut a tooth today.'

A midwife holding a baby

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'The child is very illogical'

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'Boy, if you'd just stop roaming around, it would be easier to find you...'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Whoa

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

Baby has used blocks to spell out 'SO VERY BORED'.

"They look so young and helpless."

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

Maternity Ward

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

'How many fingers do you see?'

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

Uterus: One size fits all.

Bouncing baby

Maternity Hospital