Baby's First Tooth Gifts

Beware of teething baby.

Rusk Assessment Form

"His first out-of-body experience."

A young Don King

Madonna of the Pukes.

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

Twenty-first century baby walker

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

"He just said his first word!"

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

"Honey, where's the baby?" "The first voyage of Sinbad"

A Tit for Tat.

'A is for Arse.'

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

Baby being fed using a lego construction.

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

"They look so young and helpless."

"Mum, Dad, I think I might be bipedal."

Little chef.

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

She doesn't like my song? All the kids LOVED it at Day Care!

"Bless, Poppy's first tweet!"

Parent is going to elaborate lengths to get the baby to eat.

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

"I think it's time we learned to stand up for our selves."

Extra innings.

'No creamed peas for me today!'