Baby Budgeter Gifts

'Once they're born they immediately begin to depreciate.'

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

"I just..."

Babies.

"This guy might like fiddling with numbers, Dad – but is he any good at sums?"

'I couldn't imagine bringing a child into the current fiscal-cliffy world.'

"The good news is that profits are up 76%. . . The BAD news is that costs are up 83%."

"I'm going to need more minutes. I'm texting for two now!"

You can't fool all of the people all of the time, especially with our advertising budget.

Small Businesses Go Under.

'Wow, my own desk!'

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

Sales - We could try a 'free offer' but it would cost us.

"The company must save money. That's why we've got to be easy on the carpet."

Budget Munchies

'The legislation HR2109 would increase state aid to education. Ask not for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for you.'

Serious bummer! The bank says I'm overdrawn.

'Good news I'm ten percent under budget.'

Number 2 in a series of unlikely events: "There's more money in the budget than we know what to do with so you don't need to ask me every time you just need to spend a few hundred quid."

'He's showing an interest in banking and finance.'

Everything became too freaking expensive today.

Gas prices up.

'My expense account isn't what it used to be. So for lunch I'm taking you fishing, and we'll eat what we catch.'

'And this is where we attempt to forecast the true size of the spending cuts!'

Rocket priced prams.

Don't take my money.

Insurance PremiumsGrowth Chart,

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

The Elephant in the Corner.

Thrift: bathe fully dressed and wash your clothes at the same time

'I guess I should have paid the foundation bill.'

'To make a long story short, your biological clock has jet lag.'

'Let's face it, you'll just have to pay by instalments and that's just for the deposit...'

I don't think we need to resort to medication to help your insomnia...An hour with my accountant should do the trick...Accountancy doesn't NEED to be DULL!