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An Introvert's Guide to Surviving a Party

"Dunno - I just assumed that you would know what we were supposed to do..."

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

Island of Lost Guys.

'Don't worry, son. This bed inking incident will be our little secret.'

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

Develop Your Social Skills: Asking Questions is a Great Way to Keep a Conversation Going.

"Whisky? Have you got anything stronger?"

"Over the river and through a ridiculous detour that has us in the middle of who-knows-where, to Grandfather’s house we go!"

"I told you it was too soon to give him The Talk."

'I'm tired of all the small talk.'

"Stop telling me how well you did on the written."

"Try and stop me if you’ve heard this one before …"

"Try to play with a kid whose parent isn't too chatty."

'Wilcox! Do come in...I'm just leaving!'

"Is it me, or does the old man still look angry at us for denting his Cadillac?"

But enough about me, let's talk about my job.

Lost in the shuffle, Bob refused to stop and ask for directions.

'Vocabulary doesn't seem that hard 'til you start trying to use it on girls.'

"Oh, great—here comes that crazy #@!*%! Jeff who won't shut up about conspiracy theories. How's my hair look?"

'You could work at any fortune 500 company... Why have you applied at our little shop?'

"Isn't there a TED Talk he can listen to about the birds and the bees?"

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "My son's expressing curiosity about... well... you know." "I'm worried that maybe it's time to have the talk. How do I tell him about... you know... without making it seem like a good thing? I don't want him to go out and... you know." "I just want him to know how the... you know... works with the... you know... without making him want to go out and... you know." "Maybe you should buy him a book and call it a day." "I don't know..."

"I know all about the birds and bees, but what's all this about 'erectile dysfunction?'"

"The kids got candy and all I got were disturbed looks."

"I wasn't nervously hovered around enough as a child."

Nowheresville...no-where-near-nowheresville.

Excess Baggage: Most taxi drivers have GPS in their cars, but will still get completely lost when you are the passage.

''The birds and the bees'? — Why, son, they're the most dangerous animals known to man!'

Worry about everything that might happen/Me/Be ready for nothing that does happen.

'What if I want to stop? Where's the pause button?'

Beehive Directions

"If you hear me scream . . . Dear God, Jesus Christ, what are you doing, then I want you to apply your foot to the brake!"

"Obsessively worrying about everything isn't a problem in green job applications - it's a prerequisite."

Man driving in tree to wife: 'I think we're lost.'