Awkward Timing Enthusiast Pillows

'I have to take this, my doctor is calling with some test results.'

Please sit down. I can give you five minutes.

"Tell me, Frankie, what time is it?"

clock shopkeeper says timing is everything

Bathroom shelf full of clocks and pills.

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

'At 11:35 it's the SLOW sign. At 11:39, the STOP sign. At 11:43 it's back to the SLOW sign. At 11:49 you break for lunch. At 1:00 it's the STOP sign...'

"You're late."

When pedants take a break.

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

"When my grandad retired you got a gold watch, I was told I could pop back and ask the time when they weren't too busy for me."

Waiting for home time

"I told him he was punching out too hard. This time the time clock punched back."

"Why do I have to learn to tell time? Can't I just listen for the bell?"

Valentine's Day

'Ma'am, I think I already see the problem with your cuckoo clock.'

'They no longer award retirees with a gold watch, so I got the time-clock!'

'We are a committee of clocks, you idiot. What do you mean you forgot to record the minutes?'

'Which piece are you going to play?' - 'The Minute Waltz' - '1 minute 9 seconds. Fail.' - 'Damn you, Chopin!'

"Oh, now you want to talk, when all week it was 'Do Not Disturb.'"

Big egg timer 'Latest in time share properties.'

"I'm trying to decide between a cocktail with a cute name and one that's blatantly sexual."

"The key is to hit the deck before the ball arrives. Jake, not so fast!"

A bird tries to fly through a window to a bird house which is in a living room.

'I'm hoping one day I'll be discovered by the director of Riverdance.'

The Beat

God's turnaround time.

'I hate military time.'

Football Time

'I wonder why we geeks don't get more women?'

"Ha ha. Stop by and say hello to your mother. Ha ha, that's a good one!"

The appendectomy quarterfinals.

Computer celebrates the end of the working day.

"Nothing beats the convenience of these newfangled smart-watches."

'You're early.'