Awkward Situations Appreciator Mugs

Sperm Bank

'Today's unwilling nude model is Ralph.'

"Social crutch."

"Ugh...I hate being the third rail."

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

'I'm so desperately lonely.'

Embarrassed man is looked at by everyone in theatre

To their complete revulsion, Dan and his friends overhear too much information from Dan's mother.

"Why does the weirdo on the bus always have to sit next to me?"

Massage Mushroom Cloud

Showbiz Awards

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

When we met, you told me you make a lousy first impression. Well, guess what: You also make a lousy second impression. Actually, my only decent impression is Kirk Douglas. Wanna hear it?

Bad Interview Technique

Would madam like me to send over the sympathy steward?

"If you think the first half of this psychological test is intrusive, wait until you're grilled by me mother."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Pencil eraser."

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

"Such a cute doggie! And I'll bet you make the cutest poopies too, don't you?"

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

Speed Dating Disasters

"Say these things, don't think them!"

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

"Are you blushing?!"

Committee On Feline Healthcare

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

'By the way Adrian, it unfastens at the front.'

"Don't make eye-contact, don't make eye-contact..."