Awkward Silence Aficionado Pillows

"With the benefit of hindsight, do you feel it was wise to dedicate your first children's book to Hitler?"

Along with being the first passengers on the space elevator, Fenwick and Charles set a new world record for longest awkward elevator silence.

Hush puppy.

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

"I was a lot happier with the elephant in the room."

'Couldn't you think of anything to say to Herb and Mary? They were nice enough to invite us over.'

"Sigh...Another sherry Harold...Go team ect."

"A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something."

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

"Cat got your tongue?"

"Wow . . . We could really fill this room with uncomfortable silences."

"Our open office floor plan runs much smoother that no one communicates."

"Let’s try another one. Jerry blinked, Kate’s giving Jon the finger, and Jess is choking."

When a teen finds out his parents are volunteering in the youth group.

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

A close encounter of the awkward kind

Spinach Dating.

"Let's not discuss it."

"Please to meet you, though I'm sorry about the circumstances."

"Gee, I hate gatherings like these! I never know the right thing to say..."

'Do you have anything on obtrusive personality disorder?'

"Sure, I love the scent of a REAL tree, but nothing beats the convenience of ignoring the holidays altogether."

Lion Toupee

Shy Man at Party

"Hi! Are you enjoying the peace and quiet?!"

"Michael. ... That's my sleazeball of an ex-husband's name."

'Your mother is not a good loser is she?'

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

Shut the F#%* up! (Formally Shhhh!)

"But otherwise I'll bet they lead very dull lives."

Gavin was keen to make a good impression on his first day at work.

The Land of the Uncomfortable Pause

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