Awkward Moment Connoisseurs Gifts

'Another get together ruined by Death's inappropriate dinner conversation' - "So Larry...Marge tells me you just drove in from the coast - see any interesting roadkill along the way"

Showbiz Awards

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"I was a lot happier with the elephant in the room."

When we met, you told me you make a lousy first impression. Well, guess what: You also make a lousy second impression. Actually, my only decent impression is Kirk Douglas. Wanna hear it?

Always an awkward moment when you meet a Dung Beetle...

You're so beautiful, I can't take my eyes off you, even though there's a fly in my soup doing the backstroke, which is comedy gold!

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Would madam like me to send over the sympathy steward?

"You and your daft inventions."

'Eh...our costume party was last Saturday!'

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

"Such a cute doggie! And I'll bet you make the cutest poopies too, don't you?"

"I suppose I should have let a few minutes elapse between declaring my love for you and announcing that I also loved lobster."

"OK, I know that this is borderline inappropriate, but just hear me out ..."

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

'Show one more kitten photo,lady and the next time you see me will be on a 'missing' poster!'

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

Baldo's How to Be Uncool: No. 5. Forget how hot the coffee is while you're thinking how cool you look sitting in a coffee shop.

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

Speed Dating Disasters

"If that girl sent over a double cappuccino, maybe you should go talk to her!"

"Don't make eye-contact, don't make eye-contact..."

'By the way Adrian, it unfastens at the front.'

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

'Look. . . for the last time, I'm not playin' 'footsie' with you!'

As years of unspoken tension surfaced, Trunky refused to raise his hand like a coward.

"Are you blushing?!"

"Say these things, don't think them!"