Awkward Moment Analyst Gifts

"It's fine if you don't want to talk about the elephant in the room, but could we at least turn down the constant cool jazz."

How to Do Small Talk??!!

Showbiz Awards

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"I was a lot happier with the elephant in the room."

Always an awkward moment when you meet a Dung Beetle...

Would madam like me to send over the sympathy steward?

'Eh...our costume party was last Saturday!'

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something."

"I suppose I should have let a few minutes elapse between declaring my love for you and announcing that I also loved lobster."

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

"OK, I know that this is borderline inappropriate, but just hear me out ..."

"Such a cute doggie! And I'll bet you make the cutest poopies too, don't you?"

'Show one more kitten photo,lady and the next time you see me will be on a 'missing' poster!'

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

"Are you blushing?!"

'Look. . . for the last time, I'm not playin' 'footsie' with you!'

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

"On a scale of 1-10, how painfully awkward is this?"

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

As years of unspoken tension surfaced, Trunky refused to raise his hand like a coward.

Speed Dating Disasters

"I think that one is a little too honest."

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

"Hi, I'm on the toilet"

Spinach Dating.

'It's our first date. You don't know me well enough to ask if I'm getting enough fiber.'

A close encounter of the awkward kind

Hey dad, is that the boss guy that you said can talk out of his butt?