Awkward Meeting Fan Prints

"Your son has an unctuous, grasping, power-hungry quality we find unattractive in a five-year-old."

"We first met on the beach. He was a lifeguard and I was a poor swimmer."

"At least you don’t need a wetsuit."

"Don't make eye contact... Don't make eye contact..."

"Pardon us, Harrison, if the board fails to share your enthusiasm for the foliage up in Darien,"

"It's not what you think."

Now see, we couldn't have this kind of fun, if we met online.

'Let me start off by saying this: I called you in here by mistake, and now I want you to leave.'

'I'm not sure I want to see you again, but just in case, I've backed you up on a flash drive.'

"I'm Tia Carmen...but I guess I'm not your tia, so you can just call me Carmen."

Shy Man at Party

"Please to meet you, though I'm sorry about the circumstances."

'See, I told you my dad would like you.'

'I hope I'm not intruding...'

'Glad you could make it, G,B - pull up a bean bag chair,'

Meeting Melanie's parents suddenly turns awkward.

'Last month's meeting ended on a high note. Primarily because a disgruntled investor kicked our CEO in the groin.'

'ARRRGH you idiot,you idiot!!' 'When i said take the Don out, i MEANT for lunch!!' (a stupid mob guy kills the boss)

"I asked her if she wanted to go to dinner. She said yes and then she went to dinner."

"Janet, we have to stop meeting like this. It has become a source of increasing friction in my marriage to Elizabeth."

'No Daddy. I didn't say that my new boyfriend was a porn dealer. I said he was a pawn broker '

"Goodbye and have a wonderful day!" "Ugh! Don’t tell me what to do, okay!?!"

Barbra Streisand

"I appreciate the overture, Nick, but I'm trying to cut down on after-work cocktails with Mr. Wrong."

'Well, well, if it isn't Ted Watt in the flesh!'

'I can't play any tunes, it's just used for hiding my farts after dinner.'

'Mom, who are all these people?' 'I invited all the people you've friended on-line.'

"Hey, isn't that your "ex" over the road?"

"So close."

'What's a lovely girl like me doing in a place like this? How should I know, you brought me here!'

Magician's trick

"I know pain, Jessica. I've had my ear pierced."