Awkward Escapades Pillows

'I'm sorry for being fresh. It's what I do.'

He is familiar with the silent swoop of the evening bat.

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"I know you're scared, but you can do this! Remember that time I had to clean up after you and I didn't have a bag and had to use leaves?! I was so afraid, but I did it…"

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

Dermatology: Journal of Itchcraft.

'You are here' sign on desert island.

"Do you actually trust that thing?"

'Oh Sit down again and read your paper!'

Gerald's first ever date remains on track.

"OK, here comes Sylvia Sanchez...it's a perfect time to ask her to the homecoming dance."

"But he's no longer with us."

"Somewhere along the line the world got a whole lot dorkier."

"Ice rink"

The plumber asks out the cable lady.

'Boy...it can be awkward meeting the parents for the first time.'

Socially awkward shipwrecks.

'Well, occasionally it is good to see team members outside the office.'

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"Well, time to do what we came here to do...our homework."

'I'm from the exterminators, here to kill moths...Those devils, it's worse than I thought.'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

The Invention of the 3rd Wheel

"Do you reject guys like me here often?"

"So what's this I hear about you crushing on Estella?"

"Nobody told me it was formal."

When There is Simply No Time For Braising!

"So...how'd you like your first kiss?"

"They say I'm practical in bed."

'Yes, I called you. I've broken a finger nail!'

'Our special tonight is buy two, get one free. Mind if I join you?'

'You're a genius Carlisle.'

"Of COURSE I run into the cute guy the day I just rolled out of bed but didn't roll in something smelly yet."