Awkward Diners Club Mugs

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Who gets the decaf?'

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

Choice hellhole

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

"I'll have the prayer breakfast."

Sushi Train Spotters

'Flipping pancakes.' 'Waiting with a net.'

"The usual."

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

"Sorry Sir, but what exactly were you expecting to be served when you ordered the 'early bird special'."

"So, you folks see anything you'd like?"

"Welcome to the Short Staffed Cafe serving food like your grandma cooked. Is your grandma busy? We really need a cook."

"It's the kind of trade you get in a twenty-four-hour-a-day joint."