Award-winning Hopeful Pillows

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

"So, do you see yourself as a car valet who writes screenplays or a screen writer who parks cars?"

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'I don't know where to begin in deciding what I want to be when I grow up...I want people to shut and leave me alone, and I need lots of attention, so...'

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

Directors chairs on movie set with Model, Actress, and Whatever on them

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

Hollywood or bust!

Welcome to Hollywood

"He's left a suicide screenplay."

"I'll bet Miss Parker gets teacher of the year for this."

'I told you I'd make you a star.'

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

"It's a battle of wills - I'm refusing to do anything for his 'funny cat videos' web page."

Live the Dream!

"This area is popular with would-be actresses and models,we call it 'Silicon Implants'."

"I'm sorry. We don't want a ring-tailed lemur. We want a ring-tailed-lemur type."

"That's enough therapy. From here on out, I think I could do a hell of a lot more for both of us as your agent."

"Wait a minute... You're not Warren Gurkenman the famous actor, but his stuntman?!"

'I was only famous for 14 and a half minutes.'

The Ox Factor

"Sure, if this was New York, I'd be your editor and you'd be the author - but this is L.A., so I'm your agent and you're the whatever."

"Well, Clive, what I REALLY want to do it wait on tables."

"Hallelujah, I'm a believer!"

'We have the ideas for product placement and now all we need is the script.'

"I have no head for show business."