Award Show Predictor Prints

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

"We need to make it through at least one movie, so we have something to root for during the Oscars."

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

Movie Awards. That movie always comes alone and never stays for the after-party. It's an independent film.

Succession 2

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

Giving an Oscar to an animal actor would put the academy awards into context.

Barbie Oscars

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

'...well you say you're Stephen Hawking but as Eddie Redmayne said he was going to turn up in character we're not too sure."

May I have the envelope, please?

Oscars acceptance speech.

"Thank you, everyone: now I'd like to introduce all the folks who made this possible for me!"

Actors getting married. 'Best supporting man'

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

Djargo.

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'

"If it weren't for the Botox, right now I'd be so sharing your enthusiasm."

"This should be interesting. . . they're giving an acting award for best political lie. . ."

Man reads from card at awards ceremony: 'And the award for Best Actress goes to ...'

Will Smith's Oscar

"Nominations for best skinny mad white dude goes to..."

Oscar Victory

"I think I just won Best Director!"

"And the award for the best interruption of an oscar speech goes to...The woodwinds."

"Technically, it's not a crime, but it still feels wrong."

"And now the award for..."