Celebrate the sharp wit of your award show cynic with a mug that humorously captures their playful skepticism about Hollywood's glitz and glamour. Perfect for their morning coffee or tea.
You're on, caller. What's your problem?! The Oscars were so very, very boring. You decided to sit in front of your tv for four hours watching rich people give themselves awards. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ENTERTAINED, LOSER! They're coming out with a new show called "Watching Celebrities Cash Their Checks." You'd probably enjoy that. Get professionally berated at asksadie@rudypark.com.
"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"
'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'
"Nihilistic customer service"
The Forever Stamp
"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"
"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."
"That script of yours - I've never read such a load of cliched second-rate crap...It'll make us rich..."
"Hear me out. Batman - again."
"Life sucks and then you keep living."
'You're King Kong? You look bigger in the movies.'
"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."
'Well, at least he's an honest politician.'
"At the end of the day it's just a sunset."
"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"
'So to sum up this lengthy discussion: at the next meeting we'd prefer one platter of Brie and grape, one of honey glazed ham, and one of roast beef with wild horseradish - and NO cheese and pickle.'
"At Ermbruster Academy you son will acquire indispensible life skills."
'The dip in profits here is attributed to the purchase of this projector and screen.'
Obama builds own gallows.
Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!
Bush vs. America
Bartender, there's a human finger in my beer. Today's comics readers are pretty jaded, sir. They're no longer shocked by a fly in a bowl of soup.
"Hey - let's not us re-invent wheel."
'Huh! Nobody home!'
"I've seen this film ten times and it's still awful."
"You seem to have the right combination of bitterness, pessimism, and caffeine consumption that we're looking for."
Born Cynical,,,,
"Oh, the usual bills and a friendly reminder from Satan that there's a special place in Hell reserved just for us, but only if we ACT NOW, blah, blah, blah."
Defend the Cult of Militant Nonviolence!
"Man, I'm sooooo bored!"
*2020
Sucking Up to Gen X
The Ekert Saga: '...A place where people are always unhappy no matter how well things are going? Ah! Got it...Go to Fenway Park in Boston.'
Old Rope
"I started out looking for an honest man and settled for a guy with creative bookkeeping skills."
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