Aviation Security Officer Pillows

"We'll need to declaw the cat."

Next: Inflight Lobotomies

Fighter Jet Sneeze

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

'You know too much,'

'Where was the TSA?'

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

Airport Security.

TSA Noah

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

The Scanner Of Love.

Scarecrows guarding a field

"I spy with my little eye…"

AI Safety Officer

Updated Stories. The Wicked Witch Of The West Tries A New Tactic To Get The Ruby Slippers. Security Checkpoint. Remove your shoes, please.

Time Out For Teddy

Attack of the Underwear Bomber

A Little Extra

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

'Oops! Sorry! I should've said, 'buckle your seat belts'!'

Presidential surveillance ass!"

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'

SWAT Team (going in to catch a fly).

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

'What the … ? How did those thugs get into my car?'

Airport Security. Remove Shoes. What do they call the guy in charge of all this airport security? "The TSAR"!

'Who handles your media, Rex?'

'Walter isn't truly happy unless he's bombing some country.'

"Could you have a quick look at my molar? I can't afford a dental x-ray."

"I don't care if Sales thinks you're a superhero, the cape violates the dress code and the mask is a security violation."

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

"I don't need your resume. Your current employer forwarded me a ton of security video that you're featured in."