Aviation Security Officer Pillows

"We'll need to declaw the cat."

'You know too much,'

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

Airport Security.

'Where was the TSA?'

TSA Noah

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

Scarecrows guarding a field

AI Safety Officer

Time Out For Teddy

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

'Oops! Sorry! I should've said, 'buckle your seat belts'!'

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

Presidential surveillance ass!"

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

'What the … ? How did those thugs get into my car?'

"I don't care if Sales thinks you're a superhero, the cape violates the dress code and the mask is a security violation."

'Who handles your media, Rex?'

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

"I don't need your resume. Your current employer forwarded me a ton of security video that you're featured in."

"Could you have a quick look at my molar? I can't afford a dental x-ray."

'Walter isn't truly happy unless he's bombing some country.'

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

You are Here. We know where you've been.