Aviation Professional Pillows

"So it's agreed then. There'll be no third runway, and you'll head the Fourth Runway steering group."

"Phew! I narrowly avoided a near miss!"

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

'I don't necessarily agree with the pilots' strike, but you gotta love their picket line.'

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

'We have a problem, Bob! All the passengers back there are on the wrong plane. Even the attendants are on the wrong plane. Hey, wait - you're not Bob.'

'Mayday, mayday, we have lost control.'

'I've outlived another airline.'

'Damn it! I can never remember which one's the lighter.'

'It's the worst air-rage I've seen in years!'

"I think you're right Bob, it does look like the mechanic.....that's odd, I think he wants us to land the plane."

"Why yes, he is working from home today is that a problem?"

"This is your pilot speaking. I'll be working from home today."

'Whoops! I accidentally grabbed the helium.'

Budget Airline.

"I know it's a pie in the sky, Henshaw, but from a career perspective point of view we'll log it in as 'unidentified small aircraft'."

"Dad, can I use the company airplane tonight?"

'I'm sorry, but these seats are taken!'

"An upgrade? Well now, that all depends. Have you been naughty or nice?"

'JetBlue 171, I think my dad said you are clear for takeoff...'

Air traffic controllers, as always, cool, calm and collected.

'So much for transparency!'

Private Jet

'Oh no! I forgot my driving glasses! What! You too? Now what are we going to do?'

'Hello, this is your captain speaking... I'm on the next flight!'

'Gosh you look familiar! Have we flown together?'

Pilot pushes wrong button and a Jack in the Box jumps out.

Marcus suddenly had the realisation that he hadn't invented any brakes.

'Do you have to bring your mother on every flight?'

'It's time for the economy class passengers to leave the aircraft.'

This Side Up - At All Times

"Terrible. It's just terrible. He's the third accountant I've hired to calculate my per diem."

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

"Flying is my life."

Bidding