Avian Message Enthusiasts Gifts

It says 'the sooner we get Twitter set up the sooner he can stop sending these bloody birds'.

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"Do me next."

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

So you're a mocking bird...

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

Bird Torture.

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

Wanted For Bird Watching: Reward

Birds of the Pacific Northwest: Belted Kingfisher

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.

"Yes, go and play, but be careful, there are a few thermals around: make sure you're not lifted too high..."

'There's too many of us... I'm going to start forming a 'W'.'

Why would birdie need newspaper?

'I think he's lonely.'

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

"Homosapius amorius... the common lovebirds."

"I don't actually talk, I just mimic sounds."

"We don't observe 'casual Fridays' here."

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"He was into feet, but, unforunately, not duck feet."

"....H....5....N...1...???You got me.... but I'm sure it spells trouble."

Steven had a sneaky suspicion that the local birds were beginning to rely upon here.

No caption (A crash test dummy in the shape of a bird flies toward a window. Other birds dressed as scientists study the experiment from the ground).

Bird about to dive from diving board into birdbath

"Do you think the birds like me?"