Avian Expert Pillows

'What's happened? Why are you giving him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?'

"Do me next."

So you're a mocking bird...

I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Bird about to dive from diving board into birdbath

"....H....5....N...1...???You got me.... but I'm sure it spells trouble."

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

Inflatable Duck Boat

"He'll only talk when his lawyer's present."

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

"Why on earth do you insist on coming to this miserable, isolated, rocky, small island every year to roost? It's covered in guano! Disgusting..."

"Those are the lyrics? How embarrassing—I've been singing it wrong this whole time."

The doctor says if it doesn't come out soon, she'll have to induce.

'Will you stop! You know that freaks me out!'

'...and I'm telling you that Budgie sneezed!!'

"My God, you're right ... it all makes sense. I crossed the road because of my parents!"

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

'I had a very unhappy egghood....'

'Geez, what's with the delay?'

'She says she has a prenatal appointment.'

"Well, I'm sorry but there appears to be no vacancies down south"

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

'Here he comes in his jimjams - cutting it fine with out breakfast today!'

"Darling, there's an offer for a time-share nest in Florida: Should we apply?"

"Lovely robin ... though, I'm sensing a little attitude."

"Did no one tell you that at this time of year everybody flies south?"

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

'Look - up in the sky! It's a flock of birds. It's a cloud. It's the Montgolfier brothers.'

Balding eagle looking back through his yearbook.

'Thankfully he doesn't talk!'

'Did they find the black box?'

"Geese today just don't seem to take pride in their appearance."

"I think we feed to many vitamins to Tweety"