Autumn Humorist Pillows

"It's the great pumpkin massacre"

"This doesn't feel right..."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

Claus 2.0

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

High security Santa's grotto

Night of the Latkes

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

"Little help?"

"Ninja bread men"

Hiding the electronics.

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"The Eggsorcist"

Non-Denominational Carols

Fish snorkling above water.

'Now it fits.'

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

King Kongs first christmas

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

"I don't believe in you!"