Autumn Humorist Pillows

"It's the great pumpkin massacre"

"This doesn't feel right..."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

Claus 2.0

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

High security Santa's grotto

Night of the Latkes

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

Hiding the electronics.

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"Little help?"

That one has all the batteries!

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

"Ninja bread men"

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"The Eggsorcist"

Non-Denominational Carols

Mrs Claus - North Pole Dancing.

Fish snorkling above water.

'Now it fits.'

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.