Automobile Tester Prints

Safety dummies parents with child 'And this is our little accident'

"You'd think they'd at least offer health insurance with this job."

"Got a gig in automotive safety, and you. . .?"

'My electric car is giving me static!'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

'According to the diagnostic computer, your problems are due to El Nino.'

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

'You got clowns in your engine. That's what's making them funny noises.'

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

'Would you do that noise that your car makes on more time...it's hilarious!'

"Is that one of those cars that tells you when it needs maintenance?"

'Have you tried hitting Ctrl-Alt-Delete?'

"Nap time."

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

'Difficulty getting started in the morning, stalling, various leaks, gas fumes...at this point Mrs Johnson, I'd recommend getting a new husband!'

'We couldn't find anything wrong with your car, so all you owe us is for 2 hours of search.'

"See that dog, Mr. Hendricks? That means you either have a shredded fan belt or your fuel pump is sucking air."

Former Auto Crash Dummy. Replaced By Driverless Car.

The Sex life of a Driving Test Examiner, "Thank you. I will not ask you to perform that manoeuvre again."

'I don't like being a crash dummy either but there are some jobs humans won't do.'

"Yep, she's gonna cost ya—your microprocessor's shot."

"OK, let's see. For starters, the guarantee only covers the muffler."

"Oh...that's not good."

'No Mam. The service charge does not include a change of oil.'