Automotive Testing Prints

'Needless to say, this job has no benefits... we can't get on insurance.'

"I don't care about the test. Put the bloody breaks on!"

'My electric car is giving me static!'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

Wow. Totaled. Teen Test Dummy.

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

"So this is what you want? This is why after school, almost every day, you spend all your extra free time working at the auto store?"

'According to the diagnostic computer, your problems are due to El Nino.'

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

'You got clowns in your engine. That's what's making them funny noises.'

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

"It took a lot of work to build this car..."

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

You were fixing cars in your sleep again.

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

'Would you do that noise that your car makes on more time...it's hilarious!'

"Nap time."

'Have you tried hitting Ctrl-Alt-Delete?'

"Is that one of those cars that tells you when it needs maintenance?"

He did love tinkering on his cars.

22. Being tireless is good trait to have in most jobs, but not when you're working on a pit crew.

'Difficulty getting started in the morning, stalling, various leaks, gas fumes...at this point Mrs Johnson, I'd recommend getting a new husband!'

"See that dog, Mr. Hendricks? That means you either have a shredded fan belt or your fuel pump is sucking air."

Former Auto Crash Dummy. Replaced By Driverless Car.

'... and make it look like an accident.'

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

'I don't like being a crash dummy either but there are some jobs humans won't do.'

"Yep, she's gonna cost ya—your microprocessor's shot."

'No Mam. The service charge does not include a change of oil.'

'You need orthopedic brake shoes.'

"Often, it's sullen and withdrawn, and then, suddenly, it becomes hostile and vengeful."