Automotive Testing Prints

'Needless to say, this job has no benefits... we can't get on insurance.'

"I don't care about the test. Put the bloody breaks on!"

'My electric car is giving me static!'

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

'According to the diagnostic computer, your problems are due to El Nino.'

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

'You got clowns in your engine. That's what's making them funny noises.'

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

'Would you do that noise that your car makes on more time...it's hilarious!'

'Have you tried hitting Ctrl-Alt-Delete?'

"Is that one of those cars that tells you when it needs maintenance?"

"Nap time."

"See that dog, Mr. Hendricks? That means you either have a shredded fan belt or your fuel pump is sucking air."

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

Former Auto Crash Dummy. Replaced By Driverless Car.

'... and make it look like an accident.'

'Difficulty getting started in the morning, stalling, various leaks, gas fumes...at this point Mrs Johnson, I'd recommend getting a new husband!'

'I don't like being a crash dummy either but there are some jobs humans won't do.'

"Yep, she's gonna cost ya—your microprocessor's shot."

"OK, let's see. For starters, the guarantee only covers the muffler."

"Oh...that's not good."

'No Mam. The service charge does not include a change of oil.'