Automotive Tester Prints

'I don't like being a crash dummy either but there are some jobs humans won't do.'

Disoriented while talking on his cell phone, Pat made a series of wrong turns in the unfamiliar office park.

'My electric car is giving me static!'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

'According to the diagnostic computer, your problems are due to El Nino.'

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

'You got clowns in your engine. That's what's making them funny noises.'

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

Rust test in progress.

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

'Would you do that noise that your car makes on more time...it's hilarious!'

Product Testing Department

"Is that one of those cars that tells you when it needs maintenance?"

'Have you tried hitting Ctrl-Alt-Delete?'

"Nap time."

Former Auto Crash Dummy. Replaced By Driverless Car.

'Difficulty getting started in the morning, stalling, various leaks, gas fumes...at this point Mrs Johnson, I'd recommend getting a new husband!'

'We couldn't find anything wrong with your car, so all you owe us is for 2 hours of search.'

"See that dog, Mr. Hendricks? That means you either have a shredded fan belt or your fuel pump is sucking air."

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

The Sex life of a Driving Test Examiner, "Thank you. I will not ask you to perform that manoeuvre again."

"Yep, she's gonna cost ya—your microprocessor's shot."

'No Mam. The service charge does not include a change of oil.'