Automation Satirist Gifts

"To think this all began with letting Autocomplete finish our sentences."

The cell phone soother for life.

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"Now you can send it."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

'for more obit info, go to...'

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

Elon Musk in fly me to the moon

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

New hyper-realistic Star Trek

How to create a password you can remember...

"Hey Alexa, make it nice and easy for hackers to keep tabs on everything I do and influence my voting intentions."

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

"Today, charges that Putin hacked Trump's tweets..."

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

'I think you have figured out that, with today's overcrowded prisons, pleading insanity will put you back on the streets..."

'I was texting when my pop spilled on my laptop, which made me drop my iPod. So you see, officer, it wasn't my fault. Blame technology.'

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

"Parts and labor?"

You're Employment has been terminated -Smiley face lol

It's your replacement for 'Nimrod'!

"One human arm torn off by a roomba - starting bid is 500 volts."

"... Or, if you're tired of listening to all of these automated options and would like to cancel your call, press 9."

'I can't believe how many firms let staff waste time on so-called 'social-networking'.'

Lies on the Internet

'No thanks. This patch stops me craving for superflous functions.'

You are on hold. Press One for Vivaldi...

'Thanks for stopping in. Don't call us, our database will contact your database.'

White Apple

"You now fit all mobile devices!"

It went out. The program must have crashed.

STRIP Hambone: Woman referred to as software

'Don't be silly, Ralph...of course you're not being replaced by a computer...you're being replaced by an electric paper shredder.'