Autobiography Enthusiast Pillows

'We'll need to arrange your death just before the book launch'

'Driftwood! This will make a great chapter in my autobiography.'

"Not many lemmings survive the experience, let alone write a book about it."

20% of Britons

My memoirs – Chapter 1: I was raised by two parents in a middle-class suburb. Tap tap tap. Tap, tap, tap. I was raised in prison by drug-addicted monkeys. Artistic license. Tap tap tap.

'It's Dick Cheney's biography.'

Vanity publishing

"Walter Thruggins, My Life as a Pensions Adviser."

'I couldn't put it down.'

'I don't like biographies. The hero always dies in the end.'

'I'm only here to pep up my autobiography.'

Book Signing Today: Living With Infectious Disease: My Story.

"So has lockdown Larry got a title yet for his long awaited autobiography?!!"

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"Meet The Author"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

The Dorrie Decimal System

'He likes to power nap.'

Blue Stockings

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

My book report is based on the audio book of the same name.

John Bunyan

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

Audio Books

Don Quixote

I figured out how we can pay for the kids' college tuitions. Do tell. I'm going to leave for a year of self-discovery, which I will chronicle in a best-selling memoir. Oh, but

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

"Oh, this old thing?"

Sue the Author 3PM

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."