Autobiographer Pillows

"With proper editing, I've had a good life."

"Is this book a true story or is it true it's a story?"

Autobiographer holds up a mirror to his face.

'It's my suicide note. Chapter 147.'

"Good autobiography, but I preferred your memoirs."

"Yes, my autobiography contains an entire chapter detailing how I borrowed but failed to return Phil O'Brien's power washer, which explains why I shouldn't have hired Phil O'Brien as my ghost writer."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"Meet The Author"

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

Victor Hugo

Edgar Allen Poe

Ban on Free Speech

Thomas Mann.

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"Meet the author"

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."