Auto Show Goer Gifts

'This model even has a sports car on board.'

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

'Are we nearly there yet?'

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Coexist. Coexhaust.

"What old school? This is my life."

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

Once upon a time and a half. Buick and the Beast.

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

'Your mother makes a wonderful spoiler.'

Car wash / Mouth wash

"It goes from the factory to us in $29,500."

Nice park. . .

"Well, my paycheck barely pays the bills, I might need a second job, my wife is on my case, and my dad's in the hospital."

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

A man and woman use oars from within their car.

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"Apparently it's my fault, somehow, that we have an S.U.V."

'Nice smile.'

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

A man drives a car with the word "LAWYER" painted backwards on the front hood so that it can be read in the rear-view mirrors of other cars.

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!

A mom watches as her children get into a large SUV using a staircase.

"Yep, she's gonna cost ya—your microprocessor's shot."

It started with a giggling sound in the suspension, then a noise in the ventilator, and then...

'New! - 'Fuel Price Rage' counselor on duty.'

It says, "In lieu of gifts, please consider a donation to the automaker of your choice." Invite!

'It's ok, sir, we'll put you in touch with one of our grief counselors.'