Auto Humor Fan Pillows

'We don't have a flat tire!'

'I found what was making those funny noises.'

CLEAR!

'And here's the toolkit.'

Volkswagen Scandal

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

"The kids have stopped saying 'are we there yet?'"

'Oh I could fix it for under fifty bucks, but I just couldn't live with myself knowing that someday you might need a whole new engine.'

Gas Pedal Sticking?

'... Yes, that's right. It has had one careful owner and three not so careful owners.'

'Told you so.'

No U-turns

Driving a Lemon.

"It's a hybrid if you think it is. Runs on gas and the power of positive thinking."

'It's my prostate.'

"I got a 'millennial anti-theft device' in my car." "Steering wheel lock?" "Stick shift."

"..and I've recently had it converted to LGP"

Frog rearview mirror ornaments.

"I've just had my panel 5 beaten...."

"So tell me about your early years on the road..."

Tin man visits automotive oil change facility.

'Not so hard on the braking, Mrs. Buggins!'

'His airbag must have over inflated.'

Comedy Club. Open Mic Nite. A car doing comedy? It it's like mine, it'll make funny noises!

Old Testament - Methuselah has a car accident

Getting the Finger

My car is running great, but the GPS is busted. You can go nowhere fast!

Sat Nag

Woman's car has sticker on the back saying 'How's My Wife's Driving'.

'It's completely gutless. With all the money you save on speeding tickets it'll practically pay for itself.'

"And this model comes with a virtual mother-in-law in the back seat to make it feel authentic."

'I'm sorry, ma'am, but the Cash for Clunkers program is good only for vehicles...'

"It's nothing serious...just a flooded engine."

'Sir, you would not believe the airbag.'

'I'm giving you a ticket for driving too slow.'