Auto Care Aficionado Pillows

'I'm after a longer dipstick. This one doesn't reach the oil anymore.'

'Muffy!'

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

'It seats two comfortably.'

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

Route 666

Inflating Boobs.

It's great for pulling the birds!

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

Dave's Discount Auto Repair...only an arm or a leg, not both!

This Halloween, use props to create a unique jack-o-lanern. Fitness buffs might like a jumping jack. Or you could carve a lumberjack. In colder climates, Jack Frost might be a nice choice. And for something functional, build a jack!

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

The tinman was hoping his wife liked the new muffler he bought her.

Smile

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Car wash / Mouth wash

Man has applied car wax and sees the whole car melt in the sun.

I love my motor.

"You're right. I have to come up with a brake of some kind."

"I hope you don't mind, but I stuck in a little prayer for General Motors."

Jeremy Clarkson.

No Caption. (A kangaroo with a baby in it's pouch is seen hoping with markings on it's rump reminiscent of family figurines on car rear windshields.)

'Your car's ready, but drive carefully for awhile. I had to give the student an 'F' for the work he did on it.'

"Remember that, honey? Serious testosterone."

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.