Auto Care Adherent Gifts

"You need orthopedic brake shoes"

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Car wash / Mouth wash

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

Man has applied car wax and sees the whole car melt in the sun.

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

A man and woman use oars from within their car.

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

Leopards do change their spots

A 1950's Barber Shop

"Actually he only asked for a buff-up."

A mom watches as her children get into a large SUV using a staircase.

"It's perfect for commuting to college. Definitely a learning experience."

"Honest, Dad, somethin's wrong with the lawnmower." "You look fine to me. When you finish the lawn and pullin weeds feel free to wash the car and paint the house."

COWS: Spare cow

"Thank goodness for rear-engine cars!"

QUICK OIL CHANGE & FLU SHOT

"OK, let's see. For starters, the guarantee only covers the muffler."

'New! - 'Fuel Price Rage' counselor on duty.'

"Our smart car sent a text saying it went to the car wash to get all the winter salt off it. Did it also have to say because I was too lazy to do it?"

It started with a giggling sound in the suspension, then a noise in the ventilator, and then...

'I'm after a longer dipstick. This one doesn't reach the oil anymore.'

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

'Last year, too many people were killed or injured by automobiles and trucks in the Northwest, many more than were killed or injured by cougars or wolves...'

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

Rolls Royce with a figure of a businessman on the front.