Authority Satire Enthusiasts Gifts

Campus police are dorm troopers.

Life is for the birds.

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

Cord cutter

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

'I suppose we've got to keep a sense of perspective. The Greeks waste our money, the French merely spend it.'

"She's a miniature."

"Very Presidential."

Centaur for Disease Control Says Wear a Mask

"It's trickle down."

Standard & Poor

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

Another Filibuster from the Secretary of the Interior of My Car

Ursula von der Leyen Surrounded By Donald Trump Heads on Island

Hudibras - 2 - The manner how he sallies forth.

"Neversource"

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

"And, for insurance purposes, you must buy insurance."

'My diagnostic software is acting up. It says you are pregnant.'

'Call Me Old-Fashioned, But I Liked It Better When They Didn't Shave Their Armpits.'

'Are you free at the moment?'

"An appointment? Let's see... She could fit you in before breakfast TV, or after lunch on Radio Two, or between Radio Four afternoon and the Drive Home SHow..."

'So what if few limp-wristed girlie men think we're too extreme!'

"These days they prefer to harass me on twitter."

'Why would a just God allow so many teenage vampire movies?'