Authority Satire Enthusiasts Gifts

Campus police are dorm troopers.

Hollywood Sign Developers

Life is for the birds.

Vote Centrist to Keep Things Exactly as Awful as They Are

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

Cord cutter

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

"She's a miniature."

'I suppose we've got to keep a sense of perspective. The Greeks waste our money, the French merely spend it.'

"Very Presidential."

Centaur for Disease Control Says Wear a Mask

Standard & Poor

"It's trickle down."

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

"Neversource"

Ursula von der Leyen Surrounded By Donald Trump Heads on Island

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

Another Filibuster from the Secretary of the Interior of My Car

Hudibras - 2 - The manner how he sallies forth.

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

In my day, they didn

Split Decision

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

"And, for insurance purposes, you must buy insurance."

'My diagnostic software is acting up. It says you are pregnant.'

'Call Me Old-Fashioned, But I Liked It Better When They Didn't Shave Their Armpits.'

'So what if few limp-wristed girlie men think we're too extreme!'

"We'll up your medication and with any luck your delusions should significantly reduce!"

Antiwar Democrats Get Tough

'Why would a just God allow so many teenage vampire movies?'

'Are you free at the moment?'

"An appointment? Let's see... She could fit you in before breakfast TV, or after lunch on Radio Two, or between Radio Four afternoon and the Drive Home SHow..."

"These days they prefer to harass me on twitter."