Authority Satire Appreciator Gifts

"No, she likes me best!"

'I can't say that I have a specific interest in presidents or scientists. What have you got in the way of autographs by short, obnoxious autocratic bosses?'

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

"Who's got the hammer?"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

Gay Times...

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

Don Quixote is Caged (Don Quixote).

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

The Berlin Peace Movement

'Oh Hi!'

"They're so like us."

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

"Steamed vegetables."

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

Russia Money Laundering

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

Earthlings, show us your sporting interests. This is golf. Hit the ball with the club. This is tennis. Hit that ball with the racket. This is volleyball. Hit that ball with your hand. Hitting, hitting, hitting. It's all so violent. How do you relax? We hit the hot tub.

The Greek Trampoline

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

"Amateurs."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

Noah's Ark/Single's Cruise

"I've considered portraiture, but everyone is so ugly."