Authority Figure Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I'll just sit here looking important - then no one will notice that I can't reach my desk."

'I chose 'Superintendent' for Career Day and fired all the math teachers.'

Businesswoman Empowerment

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

How leaders fail

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

"Serendipity is not a strategy."

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

'I give this one about three months...'

'I have been hearing some disturbing comments about you, Parker, some of your employees think you're a nice guy!'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

Unto thee shall pass the executive laser pointer. Take this authority and delegate it.

"C'mon people! All for me and me for me!"

"Do you have a minute, Bob? I'd like to speak with you about the concept of 'leadership'."

'I delegate, then I follow up.'

Someone needs to tell him that having Churchillian leadership skills requires more than a 10'' havana

Stop saying 'You're the boss' I KNOW I'm the boss!

"The GOOD news is that 94 people want to attend the leadership training, the bad news is that 64 of them want to change the venue, 56 the time and 45 want to be course leader."

'...And for the low visibility positions we can bring people on board who can, you know...do things.'

'I tried that approach once, but my employees seized the carrots and attacked me with sticks.'

The little engine that could delegate.

'I like to greet the new team members myself.'

"Leadership ISN'T just about trying to be BETTER than everyone else!"

"What's on my schedule today, Fred?"

'This is impressive, Roberts, but I'm not sure that it qualifies as work-place leadership.'

"The team needs LEADERSHIP, anyone have a view on that?"

"Remember, Man of good Sense not here to do work on your behalf. Man of good Sense only here to help you on strategic level until you wise enough to overcome recession."

'It's really lonely at the top of a dot.com company.'

"If we're a team, the manager should take the heat!"

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

"He's got great leadership skills. Wherever he's taking us, it's got to be better than where we've been."

'A good leader can lead them to water, but a great leader can also make them drink.'