Author Loyalty Advocate Gifts

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

Others will fight for you

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

'It's some more story ideas from Francis Bacon.'

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

'Not here - home!'

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

'Don't worry, Alice. I won't leave you.'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

"You can always count on me."

"Cheer up, Simon. . . I'm always here for you!"

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

Best friends without borders.

"I heard you're top dog in trust and loyalty training."

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

We're so pleased with your twenty years work, we've decided to offer you a two year short term contract.

a new hire signing a loyalty oath

"For goodness sake, stop this daily whining! She's just gone to work, she'll be back tonight! Get a grip!"

"Please feel free to browse."

"All the way from the new home in Rye just so she can sniff our old doorman."

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

"This is as far as your air miles take you."

"How does it feel to be a fink, Sparky?"

"Must that dog follow you everywhere?"

"I hate to break it to you, but you weren't his best friend."

'Books that stayed books.'

"I know he is now our richest client but he is very loyal!"

"And THEN, and THIS is the CLEVER bit...We put our advertising logo on the front of all our clothing and make people PAY for the privilege."

"Get another job? I can't! My breed can only be faithful to one master in a lifetime!"

'Uh oh, looks like he had a tough day at the office: Let's jump around to cheer him up...'