Author Loyalty Advocate Gifts

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

Others will fight for you

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

'It's some more story ideas from Francis Bacon.'

'Not here - home!'

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'Don't worry, Alice. I won't leave you.'

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

"You can always count on me."

Best friends without borders.

"I heard you're top dog in trust and loyalty training."

"Cheer up, Simon. . . I'm always here for you!"

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

a new hire signing a loyalty oath

We're so pleased with your twenty years work, we've decided to offer you a two year short term contract.

"All the way from the new home in Rye just so she can sniff our old doorman."

"For goodness sake, stop this daily whining! She's just gone to work, she'll be back tonight! Get a grip!"

"Please feel free to browse."

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

"This is as far as your air miles take you."

"Must that dog follow you everywhere?"

"How does it feel to be a fink, Sparky?"

"I hate to break it to you, but you weren't his best friend."

I don't want to buy anything. I don't want to upgrade. Watch this! What are you doing? Looking at an ad for the new Mac laptop. My heart's not racing! What's wrong with me?! It is sleek.

'Books that stayed books.'

'...and the Brewery are considering giving you a loyaly card!'

'Uh oh, looks like he had a tough day at the office: Let's jump around to cheer him up...'

"Get another job? I can't! My breed can only be faithful to one master in a lifetime!"