Author Event Gifts

Meet the author Billy Bovine.

Book signing on a desert island.

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Meet The Author"

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

Thomas Mann.

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

Victor Hugo

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

Ban on Free Speech

"Meet the author"

Edgar Allen Poe

Reading my Critics