Authenticity Aficionado T-Shirts

"Oh, and add a couple of intentional typos to my weekly email update...I want to appear warm and authentic!!"

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

'To authenticate this recipe, first purchase a Soil Association accredited small holding in an unspoilt and exclusive locale, steadily add copious illustrated puff pieces to the nation press and plug. . .'

"I want it to look professionally done, but not like it's been done by a professional, you know what I mean?"

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

The Selfie

Never.....teach your dog to fly.

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

Silvio Berlusconi - The emperors new clothes.

The latest in Eyewear.

Hoxton map.

Joan of Arc goes sword shopping.

'Well of course there are no snakes, have you not heard of St Patrick, at all, at all?'

"Thanks, but I'm in the midst of a lesbian phase that started the day I was born."

'I wasn't drowning, I was waving!'

The Surly Yoof

Analysis of Beauty - Plate I.

'How about that? -- Lady Godiva got a bouffant!'

The Incredible Telly Presenter's Journey.

'I'm not cut out for this job' (Matisse sketch to cut out paper model)

Pagan God in church, "He's asking for political asylum."

"Authenticity, little buddy. That's the secret to success in love, in the workplace... in everything."

'Wait a minute, this guy is missing a head Oh jeez, we're totally gonna crash,'

Easter Island

Peace and Justice Return to the Joint High Commission

"He wields his culture like a blunt instrument."

"I knew Heaven would be by Chanel."

Miss Underhill's School Of Writing Sample Lesson

'This wasn't in the adventure brochure!'

'How God invented polish'

"You may join the crew, Sir, but first you must promise never to write a book about us."