Authenticity Aficionado T-Shirts

"Oh, and add a couple of intentional typos to my weekly email update...I want to appear warm and authentic!!"

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

'To authenticate this recipe, first purchase a Soil Association accredited small holding in an unspoilt and exclusive locale, steadily add copious illustrated puff pieces to the nation press and plug. . .'

"I want it to look professionally done, but not like it's been done by a professional, you know what I mean?"

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

The Selfie

Never.....teach your dog to fly.

Jeff Tweedy caricature.

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

Silvio Berlusconi - The emperors new clothes.

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

The latest in Eyewear.

Hoxton map.

'Well of course there are no snakes, have you not heard of St Patrick, at all, at all?'

Joan of Arc goes sword shopping.

"Thanks, but I'm in the midst of a lesbian phase that started the day I was born."

'I wasn't drowning, I was waving!'

Bernard Levin

"If Shakespeare were alive today, he would be driving this make of Sports Utility Vehicle."

The Incredible Telly Presenter's Journey.

The Surly Yoof

Analysis of Beauty - Plate I.

'How about that? -- Lady Godiva got a bouffant!'

'I'm not cut out for this job' (Matisse sketch to cut out paper model)

Peace and Justice Return to the Joint High Commission

Pagan God in church, "He's asking for political asylum."

'Wait a minute, this guy is missing a head Oh jeez, we're totally gonna crash,'

Easter Island

"I knew Heaven would be by Chanel."

"He wields his culture like a blunt instrument."

"Authenticity, little buddy. That's the secret to success in love, in the workplace... in everything."

"I am worthy of human kindness and care. I am worthy of human love and respect. I am worthy of huma rights and equality....or death to the f**king lot of 'em."