Aunt Who Adores Cats Pillows

'Nature abhors a vacuum. Nature is my cat.'

Biofelineism

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

"It doesn't do anything all day but eat and sleep and get waited on by a staff of bipeds. I think we've found the leader."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"And for dessert, I'd like the mice pudding."

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

Snooze buttons for cat owners

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

"It's okay. I love hopping in bags!"

"Is listening to her talk about her feelings worth a tiny can of tuna?"

'So what if he goes crazy now and then. Cats also have nine minds.'

"Officer, my cat's stuck up a tree again"

"Relax, it's cat fishing lure. I'm hoping to catch a dogfish."

Why cat yoga classes don't work

'Who called me a quack?' (boy has duck on his knee in vet's surgery).

"And you wonder why they call me a bitch?"

"He's very finicky."

"Elinor, honey, isn't Mr. Stripes pretty? He just had his shots."

'I wouldn't have brought the cat if I'd know he had to be naked too.'

'Who are you and what do you want?'

Zen Kitten

How Am I Driving?

'No Sandra, I don't hear a whistle either. '

"You do realise that you are not the only client scheduled this morning?"

"The meaning of life is cats."

"I want everyone to leave the room, except for the cat."

"It just comes naturally. I have good people skills."

'She's killing me with kindness!'

No, I don't need a doggy bag, but how about a kitty bag?

"You'd think having nine lives, we'd be better at retirement planning."

'138 Days without an accident!'

New chess piece: Cat - It can go wherever it wants, or not go anywhere at all.