Aunt Who Adores Cats Pillows

'Nature abhors a vacuum. Nature is my cat.'

Biofelineism

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

"It doesn't do anything all day but eat and sleep and get waited on by a staff of bipeds. I think we've found the leader."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"And for dessert, I'd like the mice pudding."

Snooze buttons for cat owners

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

Mog The Week

"It's okay. I love hopping in bags!"

Meow Power Demolition team.

"Is listening to her talk about her feelings worth a tiny can of tuna?"

"Officer, my cat's stuck up a tree again"

'So what if he goes crazy now and then. Cats also have nine minds.'

"Relax, it's cat fishing lure. I'm hoping to catch a dogfish."

Why cat yoga classes don't work

'Who called me a quack?' (boy has duck on his knee in vet's surgery).

"You do realise that you are not the only client scheduled this morning?"

'Who are you and what do you want?'

'I wouldn't have brought the cat if I'd know he had to be naked too.'

Zen Kitten

"He's very finicky."

"And you wonder why they call me a bitch?"

How Am I Driving?

'No Sandra, I don't hear a whistle either. '

Will accompany your kids on rides so you won't barf - $20.

"Elinor, honey, isn't Mr. Stripes pretty? He just had his shots."

"The meaning of life is cats."

"I want everyone to leave the room, except for the cat."

"It just comes naturally. I have good people skills."

'She's killing me with kindness!'

'138 Days without an accident!'

No, I don't need a doggy bag, but how about a kitty bag?

"Have I got a cat for you!"