Auditor Gifts

"Oh, what the hell, I'll add another zero."

'Did you get any feedback on that audit report?'

'Half of the numbers are accurate, that's why we're auditing the remaining 56%.'

'Unfortunately, the paper trail led to the shredder.'

"Will you stop saying 'ouch' every time I cut something out of your budget?"

"Audit him - but make it look like an accident."

'I wonder if you could shed some light on this department's high 'miscellaneous expenditure' total?'

"I never should have tried to take my accounting to the next level."

'I see you have all of your checks and receipts. What are you trying to hide?'

"Well, the census results are out, but a footnote says that the sheep count is probably inaccurate as the auditors often found themselves getting drowsy..."

'Apparently it's not enough to say that 'lots of people think we do a jolly good job' anymore.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Do you know what it means when all your financial statements are in red ink?' 'That it's time to change the printer cartridge?'

'We're in good shape. Nobody understands our financial statement.'

'I had no choice, his documentation was weak.'

'You didn't think you could get away from us that easily, did you?'

The wise men are followed by an auditor.

'Here's where accounting went all ethical on us.'

'I have to admit ... the fist pumps are making me nervous.'

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

"I'll be needing one of your legs as well!"

'I assume you have documentation to back up these 27 light-years of business travel.'

'There it is! I've isolated the origin of the firm's demise.'

'Your company raised the red flag when you purchased the super duper paper shredder.'

'Faster! The auditors are half way down the hall!'

'I'm being audited! Quick, everyone into the tax shelter!'

Penny Saved, Penny Earned.

'He celebrates the fiscal New Year.'

"Yeah, Eddie, but think about it this way - We don't have to comply with ANYTHING!"

"Can you do another draft of this? There's still a couple of sentences people might understand..."

'Our filing system could perhaps benefit from a little critical analysis.'

IRS: Short Form.

"First, I'll need to see an audited statement of revenue and expenses."

Creative Accounting Inc - Accounts Receivable/Accounts Decievable.

'Mind if I go in first?'