Audition Coordinator Pillows

'They all want to play the star.'

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"Which part are you reading for?"

"Sorry, I meant to say "good luck", not "break a leg"..."

Education and Apprenticeships

Presenter Auditions.

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

'They're only interested in computer generated mammoths.' (Theatrical Agent).

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

X Factor contestant dressed as a 'Y'.

The Aisle

"Sorry, dude. . . but you just don't fit into our group!"

THEATRICAL AGENCY, 'We have an opening to do some commercials - How'd you like to be the LEAST interesting man in the world?'

"Well, you're certainly on our short list."

Ventriloquist Audition

Casting Director

"A P.R. Intern Named Salome with the Head Shot of John the Client."

"I got another callback. My agent says it's between me and the guy who's going to get it."

"This could be fun! Don't you do magic tricks, Cruz?"

"This is a blind audition, right?"

'To be honest Mr Gregson, I've seen better escapologists, goodnight.'

She's a natural.

'Congratulations. All but one of you has been short listed.'

"This isn't his audition...he's telling us about being an actor."

"Remember, you're a 17-year old fashion model. Now go out and act like you've never acted before."

Graham really wanted to play Joseph, but deep down he knew what part he'd get again.

'Well, this explains everything. You've been bitten by the acting bug!'

'Sorry, I already have a Dancer.'

'She got the part thanks to her Zumba lessons.'

'Now here's an Actor with real gravitas!'