Audit Survivor Gifts

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'You've done this before.'

"Maybe next year you'll get your return in on time..."

IRS: File Tax Returns Here At Your Own Risk

"I'm afraid that following the audit, Mr. Davis is no longer with us... On the bright side, the corner office is now available!"

Man in cage at tax office

'We invested everything we had in our marriage.'

"Sorry to bother you, but there are one or two lifestyle issues we'd like you to clarify."

"...Then that's a two-disgruntled taxpayer family."

"Don't forget to say thank you, Malcolm."

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

Evil Exams!

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

The IRS emptied my pouch.

IRS Audit Section

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

'I got a good place in my exams today. Right next to the radiator.'

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

'There it is! I've isolated the origin of the firm's demise.'

Casting Director

'We've gone through your books and we demand payment in cash.'

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

'Well, well. You made more money last year than you did the year before -- You people never learn, do you?'

'I've invested my heart and soul in this company. I need a receipt for tax purposes.'

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

Kate had originally been very enthusiastic to prepare the annual global audit plan.

Monster under the bed.

"All in favor of changing out name from '17th Federal Savings & Loan' to 'Still Here Bank'..."

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

'First, I want you to get your dependents off my desk.'