Audit Anxiety Survivor T-Shirts

"Saaay, aren't you the I.R.S. guy who audited me last week?"

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

The IRS emptied my pouch.

"I'm afraid that following the audit, Mr. Davis is no longer with us... On the bright side, the corner office is now available!"

IRS Audit Section

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

"Carpe De Revenue!"

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

'There it is! I've isolated the origin of the firm's demise.'

Casting Director

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

'We've gone through your books and we demand payment in cash.'

'Well, well. You made more money last year than you did the year before -- You people never learn, do you?'

'I've invested my heart and soul in this company. I need a receipt for tax purposes.'

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

Kate had originally been very enthusiastic to prepare the annual global audit plan.

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

Monster under the bed.

"I see you didn't purchase ANY leg room"

'First, I want you to get your dependents off my desk.'

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

'I may feel like a million bucks, but after taxes I look like two dollars and fifteen cents.'

"That's the last time we do our own taxes!"

"You're being audited. Are you nervous?"

"Since time is an issue, I didn't have time to organize my receipts."

When accountants carry out dawn raids.

'It's a bet - If I don't take this next one down, I owe you a hundred bucks.'

Audit of Losses

Judge knocking at 'audits' so that 'CPA's' lose their money

"About your self employed expenses, do you do anything purely for pleasure?"