Audit Anxiety Sufferer T-Shirts

"Speeding? Impossible. I'm on my way to my tax audit!"

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

IRS Audit Section

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

"I'm afraid that following the audit, Mr. Davis is no longer with us... On the bright side, the corner office is now available!"

"Carpe De Revenue!"

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

'There it is! I've isolated the origin of the firm's demise.'

'We've gone through your books and we demand payment in cash.'

'Well, well. You made more money last year than you did the year before -- You people never learn, do you?'

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

'I've invested my heart and soul in this company. I need a receipt for tax purposes.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

Monster under the bed.

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

'First, I want you to get your dependents off my desk.'

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

'I may feel like a million bucks, but after taxes I look like two dollars and fifteen cents.'

"That's the last time we do our own taxes!"

"You're being audited. Are you nervous?"

"Since time is an issue, I didn't have time to organize my receipts."

When accountants carry out dawn raids.

Audit of Losses

'Before I send in my taxes,I want to know if I'm going to be audited.'

Man sells IRS insurance outside IRS building.

'It's a bet - If I don't take this next one down, I owe you a hundred bucks.'

"Can they tell I cheated on my taxes?"

"About your self employed expenses, do you do anything purely for pleasure?"

"Oh boy, am I never glad to see you."

'Is it a BIRD?...Is it a PLANE?...No it's another in depth inspection from the Quality Care Commission.'

'We invested everything we had in our marriage.'

'No campaign contributions to deduct? -- Tsk, tsk, tsk....'